Over the hump day of the first week of school for M. Still the roller coaster continues with K now bailed out of jail and MM deciding to pursue a divorce. What will this mean for M? God please protect him. Please protect him from being taken from us...because being here is good for him and we would miss him so much. Already he has become a part of our lives. Protect him.
As I talked with M about the events of the day he had two observations: K doesn't deserve the family he has (thank you, Lord for the depth of this child's perception of life) and my checking homework was calmer than he had experienced. But then again, I missed 8 on yesterday's homework and a quick check showed I missed 5 on homework due today. Oh...and yes, I have a math teacher daughter....duh!
K is embarrassed, covering by being a jerk in his actions and attitudes. How far does he have to go to fall on his face and seek help? That thought scares me and saddens me. Lord, bring him down to where he will seek You.
I see God working in so many corners of my life and in our church. It boggles the mind and honestly kinda makes me tired. But then I remember...I don't have to keep up with it all. I have responsibility for my little corner and that is where my focus should be. Why is that so hard?
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Sunday, January 06, 2013
...and seven months later
Seems like only yesterday I made a post. How is it so many months have past. I have prayed for clarity of mission and ministry for so long and still need the accountability. However, God has formed my mission from a life of a 15 year old nephew who now lives with us. Life has changed. Changed for the better. Changed in more ways than I now understand. We stood looking at each other tonight realizing we had decisions to make about the youth fellowship logistics. This may take a time or two before we get it right. Good thing M is patient and goes with the flow.
So tomorrow I enroll a student. I become a parent of a high schooler...again. But the world has changed in 17 years...a lot! This too may take some time getting used to and getting it right. Thankfully so many are there to help. And M is a great help too. What a wonderful young man we are blessed to have share our home and our lives. Lord, lead us.
So tomorrow I enroll a student. I become a parent of a high schooler...again. But the world has changed in 17 years...a lot! This too may take some time getting used to and getting it right. Thankfully so many are there to help. And M is a great help too. What a wonderful young man we are blessed to have share our home and our lives. Lord, lead us.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
The Blessing
My firstborn grandchild "graduated" from 8th grade tonight into high school. It was more of a recognition which I liked. Why not leave the cap and gown to the high school graduation and keep it special. And we were there to cheer him on, give him hugs, smile and share the joy with the family...patchwork as it is. This was followed with dinner and a blessing from the grandparents and parents.
So many things come to mind at this milestone.
1) Emma was able to share the moment. Blessing.
2) PAC gave up the 8th grade dance to spend time with family. Blessing
3) Parents broke bread together and blessed him with words and with presence. Blessing.
4) Grandparents new and old fellowshipped and spoke words of blessing over him.
5) A great grandmother who has shared so many moments in his life was there to speak blessing over him.
6) Tears of joy were shed over him and rejoicing and acknowledgement of the wonderful young man he is now and the potential for the future.
7) I am now old enough to see the passing of time in me, my mother, my daughter and my grandson.
8) The missing of a daughter and son and their families who influenced PAC so much.
9) The witness of God's work in the hearts of so many tonight
10) We need more opportunities to bless our children.
So many things come to mind at this milestone.
1) Emma was able to share the moment. Blessing.
2) PAC gave up the 8th grade dance to spend time with family. Blessing
3) Parents broke bread together and blessed him with words and with presence. Blessing.
4) Grandparents new and old fellowshipped and spoke words of blessing over him.
5) A great grandmother who has shared so many moments in his life was there to speak blessing over him.
6) Tears of joy were shed over him and rejoicing and acknowledgement of the wonderful young man he is now and the potential for the future.
7) I am now old enough to see the passing of time in me, my mother, my daughter and my grandson.
8) The missing of a daughter and son and their families who influenced PAC so much.
9) The witness of God's work in the hearts of so many tonight
10) We need more opportunities to bless our children.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Reflections
It's Sunday and a holiday week stretches before me with a laundry list of things to do and accomplish before the week really starts. Around are the remnants of unfinished projects and undone tasks. Where to start? I feel like the child at the bedroom door looking at the jumble that is my room wondering where to start in the clean up process. Such is my life at the moment. Where to start? How to prioritize? Which list to make?
Perhaps it is in the chaos I need most to take a moment to breathe. Take a moment to breathe a prayer. Take a moment to breathe in and out. It is in the breathing that I can begin to see what to do. It is in the quiet slow movement of time that I can get my bearings. If only the chaos did not have to begin again in my mind of all the things to do and to accomplish. One step forward. Holding God's hand. Looking to Him for priorities. I will get it done.
Perhaps it is in the chaos I need most to take a moment to breathe. Take a moment to breathe a prayer. Take a moment to breathe in and out. It is in the breathing that I can begin to see what to do. It is in the quiet slow movement of time that I can get my bearings. If only the chaos did not have to begin again in my mind of all the things to do and to accomplish. One step forward. Holding God's hand. Looking to Him for priorities. I will get it done.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Surprise!
As the pond rebuild progressed, digging to deepen the pond began. The optimum depth was to be thirty inches. Looking at the pond, I am not sure where the thirty inch measurement is taken. I am not sure why that number, but it seems the experts in charge deemed that the perfect number. But then again, life is seldom if ever, perfect.
During the deconstruction, it was discovered the bad pond builder found a sewer clean out just below the ground. He just covered it up in a way that lessened the effectiveness of the design. The new pond builder had a goal of thirty inch depth. Not sure why that exact number, but the dig out began to deepen the pond. Continuing to dig, the sewer pipe which branched off at ninety degrees was uncovered...at a depth of twenty six inches below the skimmer intake (aha, the point of measurement becomes clear.) What to do. Is it a sewer line? Why was the clean out below ground level? Is it connected to the fire hydrant in the front yard? Calls to the city produced no answers. Calls to the company boss produced no answers. Standing and staring at the pipe produced no answers. Problems with no answers. Not a good place to be in the process of the rebuild.
A call to the plumber. No time until the next day to come check it out. The mystery stared at us. In the meantime, I chose to begin pulling up the Asian Jasmine that had become unsightly and completely overgrown in the little garden area outside of the pond. What looked green and lush with trails of dead leaves marking where the dog had beaten down the plants, was actually harboring the moles digging up my yard. They no longer had to work at moving dirt. Behind the cover of foliage, they easily walked above ground to get from deck to deck.
Life lessons from pond building: 1) Expect the unexpected. In life, no matter the plans, things are not under my control or my calendar. The unexpected popped up. No immediate solution was available. It did not matter what I wanted or what the expert wanted. The person with the solution had a different calendar.
2) While it may seem easier to just cover up things instead of dealing with issues, it seldom is effective. Covering up usually causes more problems. Just as I had no idea about the clean out, the cover up caused the pump to burn out and yucky green algae to grow. Not a permanent solution to the problem. But doing it right will always produce good results in the end. Even when it takes more time and effort. A life lesson that is hard to remember when covering up is so tempting.
3) When there is a problem, go to the expert. In life, go to God first. The nice thing about God is that He is always available to talk with about life. Ask for wisdom in who has the ability to actually help and not give lip service or worse - bad advice. It may take time, but the effort is worth the result.
4) What is pretty on the outside may have varmints lurking just under the surface. The green garden area looked good but had telltale signs of disturbance. And once uncovered and discarded, the real beauty of the area could be shown. What in my life looks good for the moment but has something eating away at that surface beauty? Where do I need to prune in order to allow God to shine through?
During the deconstruction, it was discovered the bad pond builder found a sewer clean out just below the ground. He just covered it up in a way that lessened the effectiveness of the design. The new pond builder had a goal of thirty inch depth. Not sure why that exact number, but the dig out began to deepen the pond. Continuing to dig, the sewer pipe which branched off at ninety degrees was uncovered...at a depth of twenty six inches below the skimmer intake (aha, the point of measurement becomes clear.) What to do. Is it a sewer line? Why was the clean out below ground level? Is it connected to the fire hydrant in the front yard? Calls to the city produced no answers. Calls to the company boss produced no answers. Standing and staring at the pipe produced no answers. Problems with no answers. Not a good place to be in the process of the rebuild.
A call to the plumber. No time until the next day to come check it out. The mystery stared at us. In the meantime, I chose to begin pulling up the Asian Jasmine that had become unsightly and completely overgrown in the little garden area outside of the pond. What looked green and lush with trails of dead leaves marking where the dog had beaten down the plants, was actually harboring the moles digging up my yard. They no longer had to work at moving dirt. Behind the cover of foliage, they easily walked above ground to get from deck to deck.
Life lessons from pond building: 1) Expect the unexpected. In life, no matter the plans, things are not under my control or my calendar. The unexpected popped up. No immediate solution was available. It did not matter what I wanted or what the expert wanted. The person with the solution had a different calendar.
2) While it may seem easier to just cover up things instead of dealing with issues, it seldom is effective. Covering up usually causes more problems. Just as I had no idea about the clean out, the cover up caused the pump to burn out and yucky green algae to grow. Not a permanent solution to the problem. But doing it right will always produce good results in the end. Even when it takes more time and effort. A life lesson that is hard to remember when covering up is so tempting.
3) When there is a problem, go to the expert. In life, go to God first. The nice thing about God is that He is always available to talk with about life. Ask for wisdom in who has the ability to actually help and not give lip service or worse - bad advice. It may take time, but the effort is worth the result.
4) What is pretty on the outside may have varmints lurking just under the surface. The green garden area looked good but had telltale signs of disturbance. And once uncovered and discarded, the real beauty of the area could be shown. What in my life looks good for the moment but has something eating away at that surface beauty? Where do I need to prune in order to allow God to shine through?
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Happy birthday to my sister
Today is my sister's birthday. She would have been 53. But time has stood still and she is forever 9. Some years this day goes by without a glance until a day or two later. For some reason it was often on my mind this year. Not a significant birthday (ending in a 0 or 5). My thoughts have been more along the lines of how life can change in a moment...or even less...and the world is not the same. Lives are changed. Futures are changed. And yet not. Circumstances of life do change us. Change our course; change our attitudes. But it does not have to be so. God redeems. We are so much more in tune to the needs and challenges of early death on a family. Would it have made a difference in the outcome of the lives of my brothers? Questions that can never be answered. So we continue to travel the road before us. Praying for my brothers to allow God to work at redeeming their lost years shrouded in pain and self recrimination.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Pond rebuild begins
Last week our pond was taken apart and rebuilt. A simple three day project. Of course, remodel of any sort is messy. Always something unexpected. Sort of like life. You never know what is just below the surface - out of sight. Such things interfere with plans; call for decisions to be made. Some decisions are spur of the moment; others take time and contemplation. We had both.
The reconstruction plan was for a deeper pond with the skimmer (filter) location to be moved to allow better water flow. Draining the pond and temporarily housing three very small goldfish in two 250 gallon tanks (can we say overkill?) went smoothly enough. Even the very, very large and very, very green frog managed to safely find other lodging, all by himself.
The old pond had not been functioning for a couple of weeks and algae and moss were everywhere. As I looked over the mess, I thought about how quickly something so natural could take over an area. How often do I think some little something in my life is no big deal only to turn around and the life is being sucked out of me by the stranglehold I now have in my life. Removing the rocks, green with slime and mold revealed a staining that could not be washed away. Unusable.
My mind wandered back to mucking out houses in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Everything was tainted with mold. Black mold. Aggressive and dangerous mold. Everything had to be discarded. Everything became unusable. Beyond salvation. Life lessons. The world taints lives; makes them unusable and unsalvageable. God's touch alone brings life, but not just life. New life. Better life. Regeneration. Thank you, God, for a love that sees the value beyond the muck.
The reconstruction plan was for a deeper pond with the skimmer (filter) location to be moved to allow better water flow. Draining the pond and temporarily housing three very small goldfish in two 250 gallon tanks (can we say overkill?) went smoothly enough. Even the very, very large and very, very green frog managed to safely find other lodging, all by himself.
The old pond had not been functioning for a couple of weeks and algae and moss were everywhere. As I looked over the mess, I thought about how quickly something so natural could take over an area. How often do I think some little something in my life is no big deal only to turn around and the life is being sucked out of me by the stranglehold I now have in my life. Removing the rocks, green with slime and mold revealed a staining that could not be washed away. Unusable.
My mind wandered back to mucking out houses in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Everything was tainted with mold. Black mold. Aggressive and dangerous mold. Everything had to be discarded. Everything became unusable. Beyond salvation. Life lessons. The world taints lives; makes them unusable and unsalvageable. God's touch alone brings life, but not just life. New life. Better life. Regeneration. Thank you, God, for a love that sees the value beyond the muck.
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